Recently came across a quote from a movie,
“I think it’s easier to be angry than it is to be sad. And I guess, when I get older, I forgot that there’s a difference.”
“You hate him because he died. You made yourself hate him, because it was easier than missing him.”
The male character said.
Ever since I was a kid, I noticed I am more emotionally sensitive then my peers. “男人流血不流淚“, this teaching from my older male roll models still is stuck to my head. Especially when after my
father committed suicided, I was put onto the pedestal to become the man in the house. I was to shut off the last bit of sensitivities and take on this role a fearless, emotionless, tearless man.
Men are taught to see a display of emotions as a sign of weakness, and as a result, we were never taught to observe and display our emotions with a respectful and caring manner. These “weak emotions” should simply be hidden and shall never be demonstrated, if we want to be respected as a “man”.
I can’t change what has been past onto me from my parents and other roll models and theirs to them.
I can’t change the societal structure on how this sexiest mentality is taught everywhere.
I can choose a different path
And this is where I am at. I couldn’t stop my tears as I heard the quote in the beginning of this article. I noticed I don’t know how to be sad. It is almost like an alien language I couldn’t comprehend. And now I am learning to explore this vulnerable and important element in me.
Things always work in its mysterious ways. I discovered there is a practice led by Thay in the Plum Village app, Practicing with The Five-year-old-Child in Me and in My Parents. I found it intriguing to be led by Thay to look at my parents in their five-year old form. I found naturally I have more compassion for them, it is strange that I have never in my life see them in their little, adorable, vulnerable form. They were also little at one point of their lives, also vulnerable and susceptible to their parent’s past and sufferings, and also helpless and wounded...
As my spiritual practice goes, I am choosing to be encourage, open and gentle. Exploring the realms outside of my habitual pattern, seeing how I am used to responding, breathing to it, and discovering the unknown.
I can’t change the wave, but i can learn to surf it
I can learn to sit with my emotions
I can learn to stop running and hiding from it
I can learn to allow negative emotion to stay and let light into them I can let myself fully incorporate, be a wholesome me

作者簡介:

王飛 - 廈門SIP Contemporary餐廳創辦人兼主廚，致力於Farm to Table以及有機、生態和低碳飲食生活意識。
2021年被邀請參加《主廚的榮耀》廚藝比賽。大學時期從瑜伽開始踏入靈修之路，深受一行禪師、Pema Chödrön和Janet Lau啟發。
深信修行不是在瑜珈墊上，禪室內，而是在生活工作的每一刻。